Sneaking Into My RAs Room
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“My first truly interesting night in my young college career came a couple weeks after move in day. It started out like any normal Thursday night as a freshman- filled with cheap vodka and a fraternity party. One thing led to another, and I was walking a classy young woman back to my dorm trying to get lucky. Unfortunately when I got back to my dorm floor my door was locked. So close, yet so far away. After five minutes of texting my roommate and pounding on the door he finally responded saying that the room was “occupied”. F***. I liked my roommate, and he didn’t exactly get out too much- so there was no way I was about to ruin his shot with whatever girl he brought back from the house party he was at. I asked my new friend (lets call her Jane) if we could go back to her dorm instead, but Jane told me she lived in the dorm on the other side of campus (this was before the days of uber) and neither of us were in the mood to walk a mile. This is where I started thinking like a drunk freshman male in college, so I immediately checked the floor lounge. Nope, a few people in there were studying. Definitely not happening. I was about to accept defeat when my eyes locked on a door past Janes shoulder down the hall. It was the door to a room I knew was empty- my RA’s room. I happened to be good friends with my RA, so I knew she was at the library studying late and wouldn’t be back for at least an hour. I also happened to know she left her door unlocked so the girls on my floor could go inside and hang out if they wanted to. Was it a good idea to bring a girl into my RA’s room? No. But after enough booze, good and bad ideas begin to seem like the same thing. I grabbed Janes hand and quickly led her down the hall, pleading my case as we walked. She drunkenly laughed and simply replied with “As long as we don’t get caught.”…
I got caught. Early the next morning I woke up to a combination of texts and calls, all from my RA asking me to come talk to her. S**t. I started thinking if there was any way she could’ve known what had happened on her Ikea futon a handful of hours ago. My memory definitely had a few gaps in it, but there was no doubt in my mind that I was careful enough to ensure that no one would have seen me going in or leaving my RA’s room. I nervously walked down the hall towards her room where she was sitting with the door open, wondering if she was going to ask me if I saw anyone go into her room last night. I was preparing my white lies when I saw them- in her right hand were green and gold Oakland Athletics boxers. My boxers. Not only was I already a horrible liar under pressure, but I knew that she knew I was an A’s fan and also that I knew she left her door open. Needless to say, I did a lot of awkward room cleaning and laundry that day- and for the rest of the school year. Moral of the story, don’t forget your d*** boxers.” -Anonymous
