What To Do If Your Parents Are NOT Cool With A Co-Ed Dorm

So it’s move-in day, and somehow you just found out that the floor you’ve been assigned to is a co-ed dorm: rambunctious guys mixed with liberated chicks? This is every father’s nightmare for his little princess, even if it’s the exact same set up he had when he was back in school.

At this point there’s nothing you can do now—are you really going to try and add yourself to the long list of names requesting a floor change after all those meet-ups over the summer with your new roommate whom you adore? By all means if this was not what you were expecting or feel comfortable with: file that switch! But if you’re just thinking about switching because you’re parents are sweating: don’t.

First off, bathrooms will be separate. Depending on what liberal or conservative area you come from, this fact can still take the weight of some of the stress off your parents. Just don’t remind them that you’ve signed up to the most liberal school in the country and bathroom gender signs basically mean nothing there. The key is to placate, placate, placate.

Your parents’ biggest fear is always your well being, so they’re more worried about something bad happening to you more than whether or not you’re going to sleep with any of these guys by choice. They’ve done their best to protect you for these past seventeen to eighteen years and now have to basically face the reality that you won’t be sneaking out of the house to see your boyfriend but rather walking down the hall to cozy up next to the guy who you had great conversation with over a dining hall lunch.

Every situation is different. I’ve had friends with guardians that basically wanted to be a Mean Girls “cool mom” and supply us with buttery white wine, and I’ve had parents of friends also take me to their churches and watch as I accidentally found myself on stage accepting Jesus to the nth degree. Depending on where your parents are on that spectrum will dictate how much you’ll need to stress about it, but when in doubt blame the school or the universe, because ultimately this was out of your hands! And reassure them that they’ve raised you well and you’ll be fine as you make choices on your own for the next four [or five—but don’t tell them five] years. This is your time to grow and mature as a human being amongst other genders from all walks of life.

Except if you live next to a lacrosse player who throws his ball against the wall at all hours of the day. Then definitely request a switch to an all girl’s floor because you will go insane.