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What To Expect Taking Your First Edible in College

DormEssentials January 3, 2018
In this funny and for many, relatable, DormEssentials blog we hear the story of a college freshmen who ate one too many pieces of an edible for his own good. This story reminds many of us of our first edibles, and serves as a good warning not to take too much! So what should you expect when you take your first edible in college? Take it away, anonymous.

“The story of my first edible starts in the dorms freshmen year. I was dating the girl (let’s refer to her as ‘Kayla’) two rooms down, and she had the urge to try edibles. A mutual friend of ours, we’ll call him ‘Bob’, was more than eager to egg on her interests and get me involved. While I never had planned to take any, I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity with Kayla so I gladly agreed to partake in the ‘festivities’. A few days later, Bob came in with 3 containers of XXX strength brownies. Where he got them, I didn’t know but didn’t bother to ask. Bob mentioned that the recommended dosage was 1/2 of the brownie in one sitting. I remember the first bites I took were much better than expected. Before I knew it, my whole brownie was gone. Kayla had only eaten half of hers and had enough. Being the alpha freshmen I was, and feeling no effects presently, I thought the best move to make was finishing her half as well.

Now for anyone unfamiliar with taking edibles, it is a very gradual experience of getting high, taking much longer than the traditional smoke inhalation methods. As a result, my edible journey progressed as follows:

The everything is funny phase: The first thing that began happening was that Kayla and I would start laughing about anything and everything. I remember clearly laying on the dorm floor laughing hysterically about the word pistachios.

The hungry / time is slowing down phase: The good ol ‘munchies’ was the next thing to hit. This resulted in throwing something in the microwave for a minute. I didn’t realize how slow I was perceiving time until I started watching the timer on the microwave countdown. 60… 59… 58… It felt like 5 seconds passed between each passing second. I couldn’t believe how slow time was moving.

The blackout / teleportation phase: Now I’m not sure how I got to the next phase, but all I recall was regaining consciousness in a different room. I had no recollection how I got to that room; imagine waking up and finding yourself somewhere else. A very weird experience. Hoping that this was the apex of my high, I was sadly mistaken.

The oh my god I’m not breathing phase: The next thing that kicked in was a crippling anxiety. I had become so high that I had a trouble sensing or feeling my own body. As a result, I couldn’t tell if I was taking a breath in or out. What a nightmare. I remember sitting slumped in the dorm lobby with chuckling floormates nearby, one asking if he needs to take me to the ER.

The sleeping phase: We decided that putting me to bed was the best remedy. Kayla picked up my limp body and dropped me into a nearby bed. How long I slept, I wasn’t sure. What time it was, I wasn’t sure. But I awoke to Bob hovering over me.

The chilling phase: I felt abit less high, and decided I would try my luck back outside the room. Bob had the great idea of taking a wheelchair that was laying on the floor and setting myself into it. While he pushed me through the halls, I remember hearing ‘Party Rock Anthem’ playing through the squeaking of the chair wheels. He was parading me through the halls as if I was a trophy of our rebellious youth.

Would I do it again? In moderation. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my edible experience.” – Anonymous

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