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An Edible Experience

DormEssentials January 3, 2018
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In this funny and for many, relatable, DormEssentials blog we hear the story of a college freshmen who ate one too many pieces of an edible for his own good. This story reminds many of us of our first edibles, and serves as a good warning not to take too much! Take it away, anonymous.

“The story of my first edible starts in the dorms freshmen year. I was dating the girl (let’s refer to her as ‘Kayla’) two rooms down, and she had the urge to try edibles. A mutual friend of ours, we’ll call him ‘Bob’, was more than eager to egg on her interests and get me involved. While I never had planned to take any, I didn’t want to pass up an opportunity with Kayla so I gladly agreed to partake in the ‘festivities’. A few days later, Bob came in with 3 containers of XXX strength brownies. Where he got them, I didn’t know but didn’t bother to ask. Bob mentioned that the recommended dosage was 1/2 of the brownie in one sitting. I remember the first bites I took were much better than expected. Before I knew it, my whole brownie was gone. Kayla had only eaten half of hers and had enough. Being the alpha freshmen I was, and feeling no effects presently, I thought the best move to make was finishing her half as well.

Now for anyone unfamiliar with taking edibles, it is a very gradual experience of getting high, taking much longer than the traditional smoke inhalation methods. As a result, my edible journey progressed as follows:

The everything is funny phase: The first thing that began happening was that Kayla and I would start laughing about anything and everything. I remember clearly laying on the dorm floor laughing hysterically about the word pistachios.

The hungry / time is slowing down phase: The good ol ‘munchies’ was the next thing to hit. This resulted in throwing something in the microwave for a minute. I didn’t realize how slow I was perceiving time until I started watching the timer on the microwave countdown. 60… 59… 58… It felt like 5 seconds passed between each passing second. I couldn’t believe how slow time was moving.

The blackout / teleportation phase: Now I’m not sure how I got to the next phase, but all I recall was regaining consciousness in a different room. I had no recollection how I got to that room; imagine waking up and finding yourself somewhere else. A very weird experience. Hoping that this was the apex of my high, I was sadly mistaken.

The oh my god I’m not breathing phase: The next thing that kicked in was a crippling anxiety. I had become so high that I had a trouble sensing or feeling my own body. As a result, I couldn’t tell if I was taking a breath in or out. What a nightmare. I remember sitting slumped in the dorm lobby with chuckling floormates nearby, one asking if he needs to take me to the ER.

The sleeping phase: We decided that putting me to bed was the best remedy. Kayla picked up my limp body and dropped me into a nearby bed. How long I slept, I wasn’t sure. What time it was, I wasn’t sure. But I awoke to Bob hovering over me.

The chilling phase: I felt abit less high, and decided I would try my luck back outside the room. Bob had the great idea of taking a wheelchair that was laying on the floor and setting myself into it. While he pushed me through the halls, I remember hearing ‘Party Rock Anthem’ playing through the squeaking of the chair wheels. He was parading me through the halls as if I was a trophy of our rebellious youth.

Would I do it again? In moderation. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my edible experience.” – Anonymous

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