Should You Dorm With Your Best Friend?
It’s the last spring of your high school career, and the gods that disguise themselves as the “Admissions Department” have accepted both you and your best friend to your dream school. You immediately confirmed your spot and set up your Student Portal with the university when the big question arises: Would you like to be randomly paired with a roommate or request to room with someone you already know?
In short your answer should be: STRANGER ALL THE WAY.
The long answer for those of you reading this while subconsciously picking at your BFF bracelet that you both ironically got then realized it had sentimental value—is that college is about meeting new people. College is a place for you to challenge yourself in the last of your formidable years to see what kind of person you become after all is said and done.
If you think I’m just preaching the usual college narrative and don’t want to trust that the universe could potentially place you with a really cool human that becomes another best friend in your arsenal, allow me to attack this from a different angle. Living with your best friend will ensure the end of your friendship.
Sure, all throughout middle school and high school you’d have sleepovers together and pride yourselves on the fact that you never fought at any of these 12 hour hang outs, but dorming together is not the same thing. Don’t get me wrong: fun will be had. But it’ll be had on some nights. There will be other nights when one of you has to attempt to sleep early for their 8 AM class the next day. There will be nights when one of you is sick with a flu-like virus, or self-induced alcohol poisoning. There will be nights when one of you is “just not in the mood to listen to your boy drama right now.” And all these little nights, while logical, will not fulfill your fantasy of what you thought living with your best friend would be.
That’s because dorming together is a combination of: living, studying, sleeping, working, partying, and existing together in the small confines of a room. And you really get to know a person when you have to live with them. There could be tendencies you never knew about that irk the s**t out of you, like why does she always have to pick at her face and fling the dead skin cells onto the floor? It sounds asinine to be bothered by this, but just wait newly admitted freshman, there’s a world of things you haven’t experienced anger towards yet. And of course, the small things will be the bane of your dorm experience.
The ideal scenario is that you get placed with someone and slowly build an understanding and respect for each other while laying down the foundations for friendship, and then after some deep and well-timed heart to hearts, the natural fights can pop up every now and then. But coming in with extraordinary expectations and arguably the highest level of friendship and assuming it won’t be ruined is insane! At best, if you remain friends, there will still be some dent in what used to be a pristine relationship.
If you’re reading this and still believe that your metaphorical partner in crime will be the best fit for you to snore next to, then by all means, submit your best friend’s name as your requested roommate. But trust me, choosing to live with your high school best friend in college is about as likely to work out as staying with your high school sweetheart—which by the way, will end sometime between freshman year’s Thanksgiving and junior year’s Spring Break.